The Senate met daily and adjourned for lunch. Lunch always won.
Three days before the IdesVol. MMXXVI · Governance SpecialPrice: two copper coins
Docket No. G-001 · Filed from the Senate floor
Three hundred senators. One lunch.
Romula was governed the way it did everything else: grandly, loudly, and with a hard stop at midday. The Senate convened every morning at sunrise, all three hundred senators in their curule chairs, and conducted the business of the city with great dignity until the smell of lunch drifted in from the forum. At which point, democracy adjourned.
The Senate hall at dawn. Quorum was whoever arrived before the bread ran out.
Procedure · As recorded by Plinius the Nosy
The Senate
Three hundred voices, one stomach
Sessions opened with the roll call, the invocation, and the ceremonial sniffing of the air for lunch. Debate was vigorous and, by law, had to conclude before the midday meal. This produced what historians call "the most efficient legislature in the ancient world" and what Senator Snoozicus called "lunch."
The most famous filibuster in Romulan history lasted eleven hours. It later emerged that Senator Snoozicus had been asleep for nine of them. Maximus Snorus, Keeper of the Afternoon Nap, reviewed the transcript and ruled it "a masterclass in both oratory and rest." The motion to wake the Senator failed for lack of a second.
Directory · The Great Offices of state
The Great Offices
Five offices. Four officeholders. One union dispute.
Flavius Fullbelly
Chief Inspector of Lunch
Duties: inspecting lunch. All of it. Personally. Twice when necessary. It is always necessary.
Maximus Snorus
Keeper of the Afternoon Nap
Duties: keeping the nap. He invented the title during a nap and has defended it, also during naps, ever since.
Aqua Marina
Minister of Fountains
Duties: making sure the water sings in tune. It does. She checks every morning with a tuning fork and perfect pitch.
Position vacant
Commissioner of Pigeons
The pigeons unionized and now negotiate directly. Their demands are reasonable and mostly involve breadcrumbs. Interviews for the post are ongoing. The pigeons are conducting them.
Marmora Prima
Minister of Marble
Duties: all marble, everywhere, always. The city is 94 percent marble by volume. She knows where every slab came from, and she will tell you.
Civics · A voter's guide
Elections
Elections in Romula were held every lunch. Every citizen voted. Lunch always won. Voter turnout was 100 percent, largely because the polling place was the dining hall and the ballot was a menu.
Plinius the Nosy notes that in the entire history of the city, no election was ever disputed, no recount ever requested, and no candidate ever lost to anything except a larger lunch. "Democracy," he writes, "works best on a full stomach. Source: everyone, happily."
Finance · The annual accounts
The Budget
The city budget, passed unanimously every year:
40 percent: baths
30 percent: lunch
20 percent: fountains
10 percent: miscellaneous (naps)
Livius the Boring once proposed cutting the nap budget. He has not been invited back to the budget meeting. The minutes record his proposal as "a brief moment of silence, followed by lunch."
